A remembrance: My mother taught me how to meditate. She did it as an example as I’d notice her concentrating in perfect stillness, in trance, for long stretches of time. I spent much of my early childhood at her feet, reading the spiritual books on yoga and souls that she gave me.
Her name was May, as she was named after her birth month. Both her and my grandmother’s birthdays were always around Mother’s Day, and so it was our family tradition to have a trifecta of celebrations, so they’d each get their own respective birthday celebrations, and then three or four generations of family would celebrate Mother’s Day together. My mom loved amethysts, lavender, soothing pastel colors, cats, nature, flowers, and playing soft classical music on the piano. She loved anything peaceful and tranquil. I always say I get all of my “fairyness” from her.
My mother was born in the Stone Forest in China, in the middle of World War II. To survive invading armies, my grandparents, aunts, and mom, were constantly in motion. They fled from the cities — where people were easily spotted and slain — to the wilderness — and then back out to make a living. As they continued the cycles of fleeing, rebuilding, and migrating, my mom’s earliest years were bombings, sirens, and air raids. Her eldest sister recalled how my mom’s nervous system got fried from a childhood of war.
My grandmother used to say that the family lost 20 years to war — the Chinese Civil War, the Japanese invasion, World War II, and the Communist takeover. My grandparents moved almost 60 times including within China, to neighboring countries, and finally the United States. It is no wonder that once my grandparents, aunts, and my mom received sponsorship to migrate to the United States at the end of the 1950s — my mom spent the rest of her life in the San Francisco Bay Area seeking peace, quiet, and refuge.
When I was born in California, the youngest of her three girls, she told me she knew, “This one’s different.” I was born into this incarnation with psychic access across space, time, and dimensions. I always credit my mom for accepting me unconditionally. She recognized my psychic abilities because she and my grandmother also had them.
My mom and grandma would oftentimes hear clear messages, receive visions, or have clairvoyant dreams. Sometimes the information they received was literally life-saving for our family. There was the time our grandmother was outside getting food for her children, and clairaudiently heard a clear voice tell her, “Forget the oranges and get the children. The house is on fire.” She ran back and it was. A cooking fire someone was tending in the kitchen had erupted. Our grandmother was able to contain it and keep all of her children safe. She attributed the calm, steady, omniscient voice she heard as the voice of God.
Almost 100 years later, I would clairaudiently hear a similarly steady voice while in meditation. I later recognized it as one of my Ascended Masters, Joseph, who said in my right ear, as clearly and audibly as though a person were physically there, “Your mother is going to pass very soon. You need to be in her apartment as much as physically possible to help her transition.” I felt the truth of his words in my body and in that moment, the mourning process began in my heart.
I immediately booked a series of flights between Los Angeles and San Francisco to be able to visit my mother every weekend. People kept asking what was going on and I just said, “I have to be there for her right now.”
It was during one of those visits that I found my mom peaceful at home, having finished this life exactly as she wished. She very well may have been meditating in her last incarnated moments, just as she taught me.
In her pure energy form, my mother joined my grandmother as one of my most powerful and devoted Guides. It is because of them — and many other pure energy parents, grandparents, and great grandparents — that I have consistently seen and experienced the enduring nature of love across all space, time, and dimensions.
I once had a client in his 50s whose birth mother had passed away shortly after he was born. She had already given him to loving adoptive parents and he never knew her. Throughout his life, he had wondered whether she loved him. When I began session with him, his birth mother was immediately present with a mixture of love and agony. She knew what a long road it had been for him, and requested of me that she be able to go into my arms and hands to transmit her unique loving energy signature frequency into him. She wanted to “reset” the foundation of his feeling loved and supported by her. I understood it was an emergency for both of them and so granted the permission. I discussed it with him afterward and he had felt her. He cried quietly with silent, peaceful, knowing.
Immediately after my mother became pure energy, I felt her as a warm gold orb over my right shoulder. While my sisters and I were cleaning out her apartment, our mom was right there in pure energy with me, speaking to me, and nudging my right arm as she instructed me to unearth treasures from the bottom of what looked like random junk drawers. Through my tears, I would laugh and say “Thank You, mommy,” knowing it was her and having the direct proof in the 3D in front of me.
And in the days afterward, when none of my sisters nor I could find a copy of her will — though she had carefully given us all copies years prior — I was crying in frustration in my apartment and said aloud, “Mommy, I need your help. We need to find your will and I don’t know where to look. I know you gave it to me.” And then I waited for her response. I immediately felt a warm gold loving calm come over me and I stopped crying. I felt a nudge on my right arm to check in a pile of my old tax paperwork! There I saw one stack of white papers facing in together so that you could only see the blank backs and not the content. Clipped to it was her handwritten label with my name on it from years before — so I’d pay particular attention to it and know it was from her. With a sense of knowing, I opened up the papers, and it was everything we needed.
Even with this most direct connection, the loss of my mother from this earthly place sent me into the veil between life and death. It’s been a year and a half, and I do not think I’ll come back from it, as my planes of access have changed.
I have accepted that this love that my mother, grandmother, and I have for each other across all space, time, and dimensions is the highest gift. And it makes me a bridge between life and death, uniting those who are still incarnated, and their loved ones who are pure energy.
I feel much more love, not less. And I take nothing for granted.
Every moment of our lives together is to be cherished. It is in incarnation that we do some of our greatest work for our own soul evolution, in service to others, and for this beautiful earth.
You are always fully connected with everyone you love and who loves you.
Live that truth from your heart in every moment.
Remember.
~ Leah Lau is an energy healer and channel, a Master Akashic Records Reader & Healer, and a Reiki Master Teacher, from San Francisco, who is currently based in Los Angeles. She has had a multi-decade career as an Editor and Photographer, and worked in local, national, and international philanthropy, corporations, government, and nonprofits, including at Charles Schwab & Co., Inc., the Charles Schwab Foundation, the Mayor’s Office of Economic Development in San Francisco through the U.S. Department of Commerce, for General Motors Advanced Technology Vehicles for the prototype electric vehicle program, and as the Director of Communications for a nonprofit in Los Angeles. She holds a BA from the University of Chicago.
This article originally appeared in Medium